Part 11: The Leadership Dress
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The actual contest parts of the chapter dedicated to the contest is, appropriately, about as lengthy as getting this far. Most of that is backstory dialogue, though...
Announcer: Number 22! From the capital city of Mothergreen, Etoile Rosenqueen!
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Announcer: And last but certainly least! Number 23! From the village of Orange, Cornet Espoir!
I spent far too long trying to come up with a Final Fantasy VI joke, before giving up. Since (to me at least) Espoir sounds an awful lot like Esper...
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That certainly lends credence to the idea that Kururu is a master troll.
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This leaves a gap in the party. One that can be filled by either Tell or L; neither is particularly good but since it doesn't make much of a difference, let's just throw Tell in just because.
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This is a plan that is sure to backfire amusingly somehow. I, for one, can't wait to see how.
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Rosenqueen: Oh, my Queen!
Queen: You must be worried about your daughter.
Rosenqueen: Yes! Very much so! But, it's alright... I don't think she understands my feelings...
Queen: What is wrong with you? What kind of parent are you? Didn't you hear the applause the people were giving to your daughter? It proves that your daughter is becoming a great person that people can look up to.
I honestly wonder what kind of person would unironically look up to Etoile... the mere thought of that is offputting.
Rosenqueen: But, that's only because of her expensive clothes...
Queen: People can't be impressed by nice clothes alone. You're just not seeing Etoile for who she is.
Rosenqueen: ...That may be true. But-
Queen: There will come a time when you will get along. As long as you truly care about her.
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Time to go fight someone I guess. Hopefully this might actually be challenging! ...Not even close.
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Guard: In the blue corner! Weighing in at a sultry 95 pounds! Olivia of RedBerry! In the red corner! Weighing at a very round 100 pounds. Cornet of Orange village!
For a minute there, I thought they'd finally run out of exclamation marks... Unfortunately, they managed to find some more.
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Guard: The rules of combat are very simple... the battle is over when one of you is unable to continue to fight. Remember, this is the Miss Marl's Kingdom Contest and foul play will not be tolerated! There'll be no name-calling, spitting, biting, scratching or hitting below the belt. That is all... FIGHT!
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Notice how the guard didn't say monsters and puppets are off-limits? That's nice and convenient... for both competitors here. Even if they were, Cornet would have a massively unfair advantage (her Kansha Gauge naturally). Olivia is a complete joke though, monsters or no. She has no unique skills, like it matters. She has about 200 HP, so she'll be lucky to last a turn. The only reason she might, is due to the lack of a weakness (no elemental trait).
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Now, who's ready for Cornet related backstory. Hey, we can't let Etoile be the only developed character now, can we?
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So, let's see how that girl's plan for the soldier turned out.
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Contestant: He was protecting me while I was fighting, and... I think I'm in love. I'm done chasing after the Prince.
Well, at least one story had a happy ending...
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That really made no difference to the outcome, though Olivia was a complete wuss...
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Omitted: several repetitions of "You first!" "No you!" "No you!" It's just irritating and annoying to go through the best of times, let alone when it's basically the same thing said verbatim constantly.
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...That's, uh, yeah... This might be a decent challenge for once. Or, it might not be. It probably is, though for the wrong reasons.
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Guard: ...want to participate in this part of the competition, the next match will be the final match of this round! In the blue corner! Weighing in at a petite 90 pounds! Etoile of Mothergreen! In the red corner! Weighing in at a slightly chubby 100! Cornet of Orange Village!
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Guard: Now! Fight it out!
Pfft, it's just Etoile. How bad could it be?
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HOLY FUCK THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE.
Okay, so yeah, you can't even scratch Etoile, Momie or Hammer (the two guys with the weird masks and suits) here let alone try to beat them. Etoile is way, way too powerful on her own let alone with backup, though those two don't even bat 300. Unbeatable boss fights are the worst thing and I really wish game designers would stop utilising them. Sure, this game was first made in 1998 but that doesn't excuse it. Saying that, I'm fairly curious now as to what happens if you do win this fight somehow (by either blatantly cheating or having way, way too much time on your hands). I'm sure someone has done it; there's some insane sperglords out there after all.
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Next time: Apologies in a duet. Also, we finally finish Chapter 2. Goddamn this one was way longer than it feels.